The Challenge of Modern Parenting
In nearly every Moroccan household, there exists a scene so commonplace that it often goes unnoticed: a small child, barely three or four years old, adeptly wielding a smartphone, scrolling through its screen with a fluidity that requires no formal instruction. This child has not been taught how to operate the device; rather, they have absorbed this skill naturally, much like adults learn to walk or speak. This raises a significant question that resonates across families from Casablanca to Oujda, and from Marrakech to Nador: who is truly raising our children today? Is it their parents and grandparents as it once was, or has the responsibility shifted to a small, relentless screen that never tires or demands anything in return?
Smartphones as Surrogates for Parenting
Many Moroccan mothers candidly admit, often in hushed tones and with evident embarrassment, that their smartphones have become a quick fix when their child is crying in a crowded market or when they desperately need a few moments of peace to complete a meal or a work call. These devices do not tire, reject, or request anything in return; they serve as the ideal companion for a weary parent after a long day at work or for a mother juggling household and professional responsibilities. However, the issue does not lie with the smartphone itself, which is merely a tool devoid of intent. The real concern is that, as parents, we have inadvertently assigned it a role we never intended: the role of educator. A child who spends hours fixated on ever-changing short videos acquires a specific rhythm of thought, a manner of coping with boredom, and even a model for relationships and behavior, all without the guidance or correction of a parent, teacher, or mentor.
Our generation, the current cohort of parents, experienced boredom. We understood what it meant to have idle time during vacations, to play outside in the neighborhood, and to eagerly anticipate a single cartoon episode each Thursday. This seemingly tedious empty time fostered qualities like patience, imagination, and the ability to create play from nothing. In stark contrast, today's children are unfamiliar with such concepts. The moment they encounter boredom, a hand instinctively reaches for a smartphone, and just like that, the monotony dissipates. Though this may seem convenient in the moment, it ultimately deprives the child of a fundamental opportunity: the chance to learn how to be alone with their thoughts and to confront emptiness without seeking an escape.
One protective factor that historically shielded us in Morocco, and which may still offer some degree of protection in certain areas, is the extended family system. The storytelling grandmother, the joking uncle, and the caring neighbors formed a genuine social network that contributed to raising children without formally declaring it. However, with the disintegration of this network in major cities and everyone engrossed in their own screens, children often find themselves isolated, even when surrounded by family.
So, what can we do? The solution does not lie in completely banning smartphones, as this approach is neither realistic nor effective in today’s world. Instead, we must strive to restore balance. We need to establish designated screen time, just as we allocate time for meals and sleep. It is essential for us to sit with our children and occasionally watch alongside them, not merely as overseers but to understand what they consume and why it captivates them. We must also allow boredom its rightful place, permitting children to experience it without rushing to alleviate it with a smartphone. Furthermore, we, as adults, must recognize that our own eyes are often glued to screens more than we realize, and that children learn through imitation long before they learn through words.
Ultimately, the question is not just about who is raising our children, but whether we are still the ones making that decision, or if we have relinquished it to an algorithm that knows nothing of our children or cares about their future.
As reported by hespress.com.
